The wind

The freezing wind passed by howling,

everything was grey and I was cold

I had to stand there, waiting.

My last matches were wet, and so,

I looked around hoping to find someone-

with fire, with time, with a heart.

Looked left.

Looked right.

I sighed and put my cigarette back into the box

and the box back to my jacket pocket.

I felt as if someone was pressing me hard in the stomach

and were going slowly from there to my throat

squeezing the remainings of my hurt soul out

just as one does with a virtually empty toothpaste tube.

Not even today can I explain such a devastating feeling,

how painful it was to swallow the next moment.

Maybe I crumbled,

or understood,

or couldn’t avoid any longer to see,

that

Even by a fireplace, embraced by loving arms,

with some warm chestnuts and a glass of wine,

we are still alone and lost in the darkness;

emptiness.

Only freezing wind howling around us. Nothing else.

~ by toxina on November 1, 2006.